one second per second

Time keeps moving forward at a constant rate of 1 second per second, but it often feels faster than that.  Time slips and slides and at the end of the day I usually can’t account for most of the last 24 hours.   In an effort to slow down the passage of time just a little bit, I have been trying to be more aware of what I am doing with my time, of the people in my life, of all of the things that I have to be grateful for.  It’s not working, but I’ll keep at it. Here are some of the things that happened this month.

  • Read and reviewed three books – A Gambler’s Anatomy, The Grapes of Wrath, and The Yiddish Policemen’s Union.
  • Observed the one-year anniversary of my step-mom’s diagnosis of Acute Myeloid Leukemia.  She is doing considerably better than a year ago, but is still working on regaining her strength following a bone marrow transplant that will hopefully lead to full recovery.
  • Traveled to Utah for work.  Mountains are pretty, but work is work.
  • Learned the names of some of the birds that live in my backyard.  So far, I have identified the Northern Flicker and the Black-capped Chickadee.
  • Listened (again) to Roy Dotrice’s narration of George R. R. Martin’s A Feast For Crows.  I can’t get enough Game of Thrones.  It’s a bit of a problem.
  • Canceled cable. again. All part of my efforts to reclaim my time.
  • Got absolutely obsessed with the news.  This happens from time to time.  I am torturing myself by following our new (gag) president on twitter so I can stay abreast of his every infantile tweet and violation of civil liberties.  Sad!
  • Hung out with my kids and husband.  In the winter months when we can’t run around outside as much as we (they) would like.  So instead we play a lot of board games.  Our current favorites are the cooperative games Forbidden Desert and Forbidden Island, but we are also fans of Boggle, Qwirkle, and  Uno.  And last night we learned how to play Sleeping Queens.  I also read to the kids most nights before bed.  We just started the first Harry Potter book again.
  • Tried to enjoy the bedtime routine.  Most nights my kids ask me to snuggle them at bedtime.  Often, I find myself counting the seconds trying to will them to fall asleep already so I can grab a few precious moments of me time before collapsing into an exhausted puddle. This month I have been trying to squash that impatience and instead allow myself to feel gratitude for the fact that my boys want to cuddle with their mom.  A few years from now, they will be embarrassed by the idea.

My mantra for February is this. Life can be simple and still be rich.

I want to experience the depth and richness of each moment.  I believe this is the only life I get and I want to live it.

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